So there we have it...

It passed so quickly it seems like it never existed now that I have had a week back at work, doing the normal jobs that were there before I went. It really amazes me how the perception of time can change so drastically depending on the time and place in life that you are trying to perceive. At its worst 5 minutes could seem like the shortest time if you were on death row about to be taken down, yet if you were in excruciating pain waiting for the relief of it stopping 5 minutes could seem like a lifetime. Its a strange thing, perception... Anyway, I’ve been back at work now for just over a week after the most fun two weeks I have had in a long time, probably ever! As I mentioned a post or two ago I went to the Glastonbury Festival, and then to New York.

So lets do this in chronological order, it seems the most sensible to me, as I am frantically trying to remember the details of a fortnight ago. It started off around six in the morning on the 24th of June 2009! The door buzzer went and it was my brother, an hour early for our intended departure to the festival. He sat around in the lounge while I got myself out of bed and ready for the adventures to come. I’m not a morning person but this morning felt different, there was a certain amount of excited energy floating around, we were off for a festival, my first proper one camping and potentially getting stuck in a lot of mud!

So I got up and we all bundled me and a lot of camping equipment into my van and headed off into the wild lands of Birmingham to pick up Kev. For such a small guy, and considering I already had his tent in the van, he bought a lot of stuff! We were festival virgins, and have now learnt the error of our ways, we need to take far less stuff. So there we were all in the van and off to Glastonbury. We did really well travelling down there and were within ten miles of Shepton Mallet within what seemed like a really short time. Festival festivities hit in Bristol however, there is nothing like a van full of excited lads and a stereo to induce a comedy situation. It was hot the windows were down and the stereo was on, fairly, but not overly loud. We decided that the current CD was becoming a tad wearing, (it was crap) and therefore we were going to change it. We have a rummage through the CD case and find the white one. Its a plain white CDr with no writing on it or any markings whatsoever. We decide to brave it, hoping that it won’t be the most embarrassing moment of the weekend. In it goes, loading, playing... “SNOW IS FALLING, ALL AROUND ME, CHILDREN PLAYING, HAVING FUN...”, Shakin’ Stevens great christmas hit is waking up Bristol at about half nine in the morning in the middle of summer! I did love the giggling that ensued which turned into full blown laughter as it turned out we had picked the christmas CD. I am glad we spread a bit of mistimed festive cheer, it even made a lady in a blue car in a junction to our left smile. God bless England and its quirky humour. We also discovered that Sat Navs do not like Bristol...

Like I said, just before the christmas song antics popped into my head, we arrived about ten miles outside Shepton Mallet in good time, it was then that the world stopped! It stopped that much that people were getting out of their cars and walking whilst the driver sat in the queues behind. However something interesting happened twice along that last ten miles, we took gambles! There was a local guy out in his front garden. He was there and we had out windows open and he shouted across to us “are you lads going to the festival”? We told him that we were and he told us of a local dirt track route that would cut off a lot of the traffic that was ahead of us. We did as he said, and as we were driving down this dirt track that was only just wider than my van, we considered that he might just send people the wrong way for fun, but he was right, we popped out ahead of a large stream of traffic that we had once been sat in, straight into another queue. However when we headed into Tesco to get some petrol, another local gave us shortcut which led us ever nearer the festival. After another what felt like forever, we arrived at the gate of the festival, parked up, unpacked and went to get our wristbands. We signed up got all the necessary bands to give us access to all the facilities, and we were off to start our festival cherry popping experience.

First off was a bit of a wait in the blazing sun to get the bus up to the disabled campsite. It was a hot wait with only one moment of entertainment. Someone in a huge Land Rover drove over a woman’s tent bag, I have no idea if it snapped the poles, but it didn’t look good, I am just glad it didn’t happen to us. We got dropped off at the camping field and set up our tents, it all went pretty well except for some brotherly differing opinions between me and my brother who was insisting that our tent was not the right shape, where I was insisting it would be when he put the final pole into the canvas. You’ll never guess who was right, its funny how tents do not have the right shape until all of the poles are in use...

Anyway there we were, set up in Glastonbury, it was late and we were hungry! We went to search for food. We walked down the hill into the food area, and I shall always remember my first sight of the festival. I had seen it a bit on telly, but to actually be on a path in the middle of tent city is something else. I have never, in real life, seen so many tents packed into so small an area. We headed down and wandered through the lanes of food sellers, and finally got something to eat. As we sat there I noticed, and said to Kev and my brother, how it was very east to loose all perception of time. It was dark, but there were lights on everywhere, and I had no idea actually what time it was, somewhere around ten pm. However it was as busy as it was in the daytime, I loved that about the festival. It never truly died down, it was like a real life representation of the thoughts that run amuck inside my head on a regular basis. After we had eaten we went for a wander around the festival site, and a bit to my surprise, but completely understandably, not all of the fields were finished setting up. As we wandered I bumped into a guy I know from home too, it completely seemed odd, yet natural at the same time. I’d also like to use this opportunity to say sorry to the girl who I accidently ran over as I turned to say hello to him. Sorry, your shriek will live with me forever!

After a bit of a wander we headed off to our field to get a bit of sleep. It was nice sleeping in my tent for the first time, I’ve been camping a lot, but this time I owned the tent, a strangely pleasing feeling... The next morning I was awoken by the heat in our tent. We got up and headed down through tent city to get some food. After that we wandered around a bit and soaked up the atmosphere in a the baking Glastonbury sunshine. At around half one we headed towards the queens head stage, as it turned out most of the people at the festival seemed to think that it was the thing to do too. When Maximo Park finally came on at three, after a delay because people were feinting and collapsing inside the tent, there were, at a guess sixty or more thousand people trying to watch a band in a tent that had a capacity of 1500 or so. Its was packed chaos, and I loved it. I ended up one row from the entrance to the tent, I would have been inside if it hadn’t been for some people on the way to it sat on chairs that would not get out of my way, they blocked me and people walked around me!! As it turns out though that wasn’t such a bad thing. I ended up standing behind four of the nicest people. I was there and the girl in front was looking for somewhere to hang her rucksack. I suggested she hung it on the front of my chair and as a reward I was given a healthily dosed G&T and a can of Stella. That is karma in action! Later on in the festival too, her boyfriend came wading through the crowds and up to the disabled stand, handed me a Stella and wandered off again. I have to love the kindness of strangers and the novelty of being me!

Much of the festival was not really worth writing about, there is no way that I can convey the atmosphere that is there. Its also part of the mystery, if I told you it all it would spoil the first time that you have there. I firmly believe that everyone should experience Glastonbury once in their lives. As we were setting up right at the beginning, a Glastonbury veteran gave us a hand with his air bed inflater, and he had a wry smile on his face and a look as if he had arrived home, he said that it wasn’t his first and that as it was ours it would change our lives. I now fully understand where he was coming from. People will say that Glastonbury has become too commercialised and that it has lost the spirit that it had years ago, but I’d say that it is a great experience. People there are so friendly and helpful, it made me actually question my own priorities in life. When I got stuck in the mud there were literally a hundred people that asked if I needed a hand. In the end two australian guys and my brother pulled me through the mud. They were great guys, clearly the Glastonbury spirit lives on. The other two most notable experiences of the festival were these. I got to the second row for Bruce Springsteen. That was an amazing experience, mainly because I felt like I belonged. I was there at the front equal in view to everyone around me, involved in the atmosphere, involved I the pushing shoving and restricted views of the stage. Not seeing it didn’t matter though, for one of the first times I truly felt like I was equal to the rest of the people around me, no special extra advantages or disadvantages, just equal, and that is all I ever want to be. That feeling was amazing until it turned a bit hostile with people arguing about whether I should have been allowed into the standing area. A woman shouted over me, to the people behind me, “Who bought that down here”? The ‘that‘ in question being me. When I told her I did, she called me stupid, irresponsible and asked if I didn’t realise that people were being crushed...
My thoughts on the matter are that, I was not moving, so people getting crushed were crushing each other, and that in reality me being there wasn’t really contributing to the mass. The biggest tension was caused when the pro me being there people clashed with the anti me being there brigade... People are entitled to their opinions, an to be honest I can see both sides of the argument, but I loved it there and will always hang onto the feeling I described above.
Lastly, we found a scouser asleep I my van when we got back to it... Turns out we had left it unlocked, and he needed somewhere to sleep! I felt sorry for him and as he hadn’t stolen anything, broken anything or caused any damage I decided to let him go... Glastonbury spirit you see, forgive and forget!
We decided to head home after seeing the Prodigy on the Sunday. The drive home was uneventful, we got home and I had to have a bath, I smelled a lot! After a bath and a good sleep it was time for the next leg of the adventure...

5 am on the Tuesday Amy arrived at my flat. It was time to embark on something that I had wanted to do as long as I can remember. I was about to go to New York. I was particularly relieved that this was about to happen, as less than 16 hours earlier it had looked like I was going to have to call the whole thing off. My chair had become waterlogged and the electric systems had stopped working, Ian sat there with a hair dryer for half hour or so drying it all out, and miraculously it all came back to life. There were a few minutes though when I thought that this moment of leaving for New York may not happen.
We got in the van and drove down to Gatwick, we checked in and went through security. This is where it started to be a bit problematic. I had an adjustable spanner and a set of alan keys in my chair, to tighten up anything that might get broken on the plane. However this is not allow it turns out. We got stopped, and I had to go back and put them in my suitcase which had already been packaged up and sent to the plane. Luckily there was an amazing guy called Bruce at Gatwick, who went above and beyond and said that he would be responsible for me and the tools. He sorted it all out with security, which meant that we could go and get breakfast, go to the loo and do all the pre flight touristy things that we were supposed to do. When it was time to board the plane, Bruce sorted everything out, and with a combination of him and Greg’s sister we got upgraded to first class. Clearly A fantastic bunch of people on the English side of British Airways. The seats in the first class area are a bit bigger than those in economy and were ace. I sit like a bit of a strange thing, so it was very helpful to have the extra space... Amy did a great job of propping me and stuffing me into the right positions for a fairly comfortable flight. The most memorable part for me was the landing. As we were coming into land I said to Amy, ‘you might want to get ready to catch me if we land hard’. As my balance is not the best, as I said ‘hard’ we landed, it was a bit rougher than I had imagined but I was ok. It made me smile how accurate the timing had been.

When we finally got off the plane, as we had to wait for everyone else to get off first, we had to go through immigration services. That was a bit of a trial, as I had to put my hands on a fingerprint scanner which was way above my head. This took a good ten minutes or so as the machine couldn’t read my struggling to reach hands. Once I was through the immigration isle I had to go and find my chair, that was a task in itself as no one had any real idea of where it would be appearing from. We eventually found it, got me into it, hung all our bags on me and headed out of the airport.

Once we were outside the airport the adventures began, as we were waiting there was a coach fire. Around ten NYPD fire and police vehicles turned up to sort it out. After nothing more impressive than a bit of a squirt of the engine with a hose, they were gone and a huge highly decorated tow truck turned up to take it away. During this time our taxi, ordered by a very over zealous taxi marshal had turned up. However true to form its ramp was broken, so we had another wait of half an hour or so until the next one turned up. When it did we got in and packed all our stuff in the boot and headed into Manhattan. The drive from JFK airport to Manhattan was a bit of a surprise and both Amy and I noticed how similar it looked to Birmingham! When you hit Manhattan though it is a whole different thing altogether. The buildings head skyward and, on the way to our hotel, you pass magnificent sights such as Times Square. I was very impressed with the views from the taxi, and had an overwhelming urge to get out and about exploring the streets of New York. As much of a cliché as it sounds, I really felt like I belonged there, it was a great feeling.

We got to our hotel after a ride of about 40 minutes and checked in, it was a really nice hotel, and I was very surprised at the quality for a three star. Marble floors, everything was clean and tidy and the room had loads of space and the comfiest hotel beds I have ever slept in, you did well Skyline! We unpacked, changed the code on the safe, I guessed the combination, much to Amy’s amazement at the time, but it was a simple case of guessing what the most common combination is that is easy to remember. We stashed all our stuff, unpacked a bit and then set out into New York to see the sights. We headed up towards Times Square, it was an amazing place. Its lights illuminate the streets as if it was still daylight, and it is as busy at night as it is in the day. It was nice to be surrounded by people, it took my mind off everything, just to experience the commotion, noise and busyness was great. When we had wandered for a while it was getting pretty late and we were fairly tired. We decided to head back to the hotel to check out the restaurant, it had a fair selection of food and as we walked in we were greeted by a charming waiter who showed us to our seats. He turned out to be called Chiran. Over the course of the few nights we ate there he became more smitten with Amy, would hang around and talk a lot to us while we were eating dinner, and was amazingly attentive, if not slightly creepy! As the old adage goes, “what happens on tour, stays on tour”. For the sake of having some memories to keep I am not going to go into his classic lines, or actions, it was one of those moments where you had to be there to really appreciate them. I am sure though that when Amy reads this she may giggle a bit if I started with the line “You look.......... So............”, it was the slow pause between the words, and the trying to be mysterious Nepalese accent that did it. I remember pretending to run back up to our room too as it looked like he was following us in a horror movie style. He wasn’t of course but to pass the moment and to play along was the right thing to do, its all about the memories...

The soup from the restaurant on that first night was amazingly good. After we had eaten we had an early night. The next morning we arose fairly early and decided to go out, we headed towards the shops. However I noticed when I got up that morning that my chair hadn’t charged. After having the battery tray out, checking the wiring and getting Amy rather irritated with the mechanics of it all, we discovered that the charger did not work on American voltage, I had made a blunder and made an assumption. I was wrong and it had come back to bite me. We visited the concierge who was extremely helpful, and she arranged for me to speak to a company who could hire me a charger for the week. It would be dropped off at three pm. With that time in mind and half a battery of power we headed out back towards times square to do some exploring and maybe hit a shop or two. As we walked around window shopping we headed into Macys. I ended up buying a great aftershave set, it was one of those where I was actually impressed with the smell, and that doesn’t happen too often. After a few hours of wandering it was lunch time and we were hungry. We decided that the Hard Rock Cafe would be a good option and it was, a great salad and as much Pepsi as you could drink in the form of unlimited refills. Amy will also vouch for the fact that it was the best Pepsi that we drunk ever in our lives! After dinner we did a bit more wandering but then we had to head back to the hotel as I was out of power. I was so frustrated at my own stupidity as I sat there on the bed waiting for the guy to deliver the charger. When he did at around half past four I was the happiest guy in the whole of Manhattan! After a charge of a couple of hours, while I watched the most comprehensive coverage of Michael Jackson’s death, we went out again. We didn’t really ‘do’ much per se, but did do a lot of soaking up the atmosphere, followed by a late dinner in the restaurant with Chiran.

I’d set aside a day to go shopping, its not fair to take a girl to New York and not go shopping now is it... Thursday was that day, the only thing we had to do first was get Phantom Of The Opera tickets. I can’t remember all of the shops that we went into. I do however remember thinking certain things at certain times. I remember being impressed with Abercrombie and Fitch for having a changing room that I could get into. I also remember thinking and saying to Amy how it felt weird being in A&F as I did not fit their mould at all. Everyone who shops, works and is generally associated with the place was young, good looking and had an air of success about them, whether it was the case or not. However there I was, a slightly odd looking, getting older disabled guy buying trendy clothes, the irony was not lost on me that I was buying from a range called “muscle” either! We spent a lot of time in A&F, it was like a night club, very dimly lit with the key lighting on the products, which had all been doused in their fragrance. The shop assistants were all model like and dancing around to the music, it is a marketing, branding and image dream, I was impressed even if I was a little unnerved!
We hit a lot of shops that day, and it led Amy to say to me that I was the perfect shopping companion, I was patient, had an opinion and she could also hang her bags on me when she had bought things, and who said disabled people didn’t have uses? I was however not useful in the Rockerfella complex, I was very disorientated and lost and seemed to always end up in the same place. It was like being in Milton Keynes!

Somehow we ended up in this makeup shop, it was a great place, there were lots of makeup artists waiting to pounce, who would do your makeup for free, in the hope that you’d buy a lot of their products. I sat there whilst the first mac lady did Amy’s makeup, I must say that I was personally quite impressed, she looked ace when it was done, the colour really bought out her eyes and the lipstick did a lot to add shape and fullness to her mouth (see I learned the lingo too). What I wasn’t prepared for though, and it took me a bit by surprise was the competition between the companies and their makeup artists. No sooner had we left the mac stand, that we headed towards another and the girl grabbed Amy, stripped her face of the previous girls work, and then redid it, to my eye pretty much the same as the previous girl had. The only difference between this and the last girl was the conversation, the mac girl had talked to me about media theory, she was studying it, second girl was far more Barbie-esq and proclaimed how much ‘fun’ each colour was as she applied it. We had a bit of a wander around the top part of that shop then got out of there, avoiding all of the sales and makeup people as we made our escape. After that we headed through a range of shops including Juicy, Gap, and the M&M’s shop. Along the way Amy saw a girl in a dress, that was the start of a long walk and a bit of a drenching. We had to find a shop called Forever 21, we found it just as the heavens opened, and soaked us in warm New York rain, impressively though Amy’s newly applied makeup didn’t run. Less impressively though we could not find the dress anywhere in the shop.
At the end of the shopping day it was rather later on in the afternoon, and we headed back to the hotel to drop off our shopping and to change into some dry clothes. Another evening meal in the hotel restaurant, but this time Chiran was a lot less around, which led us to think he might have been told off, as he had been beckoned away a lot on previous nights... As it was hammering down with rain we decided not to venture back out, we sat there with a drink and chatted for a bit, then headed up to bed. You may be thinking that it doesn’t sound very rock and roll and drinking orientated, and you’re right it wasn’t. There was no point wasting the days when there was so much exploring to do, and it seemed that it wasn’t the custom in NY, drinks were expensive and no one seemed to do much of it.

By this time we were approaching the mid point in our week, I had been thumbing through the guidebooks and leaflets that we had collected in the foyer and decided that Ripley’s Believe It or Not might be a bit of fun. I had not told Amy where we were going and as we walked to it, she saw Madame Tussauds next door. We decided to do the both as they were so near to each other. If I am honest and objective I preferred Ripley’s. Whether that is because it appealed to the teenage boy in me, with its shrunken heads, freaky accidents and mutated animals, or because in my opinion the waxworks in Tussauds were not a patch on the ones in London is up for debate. On the way sort of back to the hotel we stumbled, more by chance than planning, into Grand Central Station. Its an amazing building, very very big and grand for a train station. It amazed me at how clean it was too, unlike any station in the UK that I have been to, it even had a full size market underneath. Wile we were there Amy grabbed a bite to eat and then it was time to head back to the hotel and get changed. It was going to be an evening that I think I may remember vividly for a long time, we were off to the theatre. We got back to the hotel and changed, and we both looked good, very typically English dressing up for the theatre. Amy in her little black dress and me in shirt trousers and shoes, it was a good sight. However, we may have appeared slightly overdressed in the queue on the way in, but then when everyone was in I looked around and saw that we were somewhere in the upper middle end of people who had made an effort, so I didn’t feel quite as self conscious.

The show was amazing. Quite simply it is one of the best things I have seen on a night out. I am not someone who regularly goes to the theatre, and I would never claim to know anything about what makes a good performance. However this one kept me entertained, moved me and made me smile at the end. What more can you ask for? The music was fantastic too, hearing a full orchestra playing the Phantom’s theme tune will stay ingrained on my brain for a very long time, if I am in silence I can hear it inside my head and picture the performance as if I were still there, it was quite simply stunning.

Saturday was July the 4th, Independence day for America, and as such I decided that it would be a good day to take us up the tallest building now in New York. Amy was a bit concerned about it being attacked, but what’s life if you aren’t taking a risk now and then?
We went to the empire state building, and started to queue, but, we didn’t have to. We were whisked through queues and people straight to the ticket purchasing area, then after we had the tickets straight to the lift. We were at the top of the tower within ten minutes of entering the building, not bad going if you ask me. I really liked the views from up there but it was a bit busy, and after half an hour or so we headed down. As good as it is to look over Manhattan the atmosphere down in the streets is much more appealing. After we came down we headed to get lunch, and ended up in a little park. While we were in the park Amy said that she had noticed that there was a Victoria’s Secret shop and that they had a sale on and she really wanted to go and have a look without me as I couldn’t go shopping for underware with her. I said it was fine and sat there in the sun while she wandered off. After half hour or so, she came back and said that she had spotted a lovely cashmere top and that she had asked them to hold it while she came and got me. We crossed over, except she didn’t cross and I lost her, the second time of the trip, this time however it didn’t make me feel as sick. I honestly worried when I lost her in the crowd the first time, that’s what happens when you care, I learned a valuable to not care as it worries you less! I was stood there on the other side of the road and she appeared, we couldn’t help but grin inanely at each other as we realised we weren’t lost from each other forever! We went into the shop and I saw the jacket, it was lovely, I said so and Amy decided I was right and kept it. The situation that then presented itself though was one of sitcom dreams. I was in Victoria’s Secret, which had a massive sale on, with hundreds of women rummaging, and I was one of the only guys in there. I can honestly say that at that point I was glad to be in a wheelchair. It meant that I could sit there and not look like a complete pervert, just a bit special, which was the lesser of the two evils while I waited for Amy to choose some undies! So all shopped out we went back to the hotel to drop it all off and then head back out to the Hudson river to watch the fireworks. It was a rather busy night that night, with a reported two million people heading down to the river to watch. Finding a place looked as if it was going to be a huge challenge, we were in a crowd that wanted to find a way down to the river, and the police had blocked off most of the avenues. I asked an officer which way was best for me to go down and see and he let us through one of the cordons, so we didn’t have to walk far! When we got down there it was fairly empty, and the view was not too bad, just behind the USS Intrepid. As the sun went down over the river there was a beautiful sunset, I took a few photographs of it and they came out rather well, I might put them on flickr soon. As Amy and I were sat there waiting we were speaking to a guy who sat was sat near us and he recommended a Cuban restaurant, we decided that after the fire works that is where we would be going for tea. As the crowd built up I quickly realised that I was not going to be able to see much, but it didn’t matter, it was the same as the Glastonbury feeling, like I was part of something and involved. The only difference being that I had a rather rotund american trying to lean or sit on me for most of the fireworks. After the fireworks, which were quite impressive we had to fight out way out of the crowds. We got out of the little side street and headed up onto the main avenue and it was still packed, it was not until we got about five blocks away that the crowds started to die down. We made it up to the restaurant and had a great evening. The food was awesome and the atmosphere was ace, the cocktails went down well too... After filling out bellies we walked home full and ready for the next day, and we had avoided Chiran!

Sunday is a day of rest, and that is sort of what we did. We went for a walk up to central park. As we walked up the edge of the park we dipped in and out of it and it was very pretty and impressive. We wandered around in the sun for most of the day and it was lovely. Like I said Sunday is a day of rest, and that is pretty much what we did. The evening was spent at a comedy store, live stand up in New York is funny! I’d recommend it to anyone, the jokes are a bit less complex than you get at English comedy nights, but the easy access laughs were just what was needed. The end of that night involved a big sleep, its amazing how tiring New York is.

Monday morning arrived and passed, and we finally managed to get out of the hotel at around half eleven. It was the day to go and see the statue of liberty. We walked fifty blocks south, via a lot of little side streets and shops. When we got to battery park, we found the boat that would take us over to liberty island. We hopped on and headed over to the island, the boat was very busy and I was happy to get off! Once we were on the island it struck me at actually how underwhelming the island actually is. Its one of those places that is good to say you have been to and to take a picture of the statue, but other than that it is a bit of a let down. There were hundreds of people walking around in a circle, then getting back on the boat to the mainland. That is exactly what we did, and I left the island happy but not impressed. When we got back to the mainland, I realised that my battery I my chair wasn’t looking its best. It had just under half of its power left. I suggested we took the water taxi up the river as it would save us a lot of walking, and that might mean that my battery didn’t die. However the taxi was not running, Amy was tired and I had a flat battery, not a good combination. We decided that it would be best to walk, and we found a cycle and runner track that headed along the Hudson river back to the avenue our hotel was on. So with Amy perched on the side of the chair, and me going at full speed we headed up the track. I watched the avenue numbers get higher and the battery meter get lower and hoped that it would all end up ok. So from the bottom of Manhattan we headed fifty blocks back north, and I made it back to the hotel with one flashing emergency red bar left! I was very pleased, my chair had held out, time for a bit of a charge then out again for dinner. Dinner that night was in a lovely Thai restaurant, the food was delicious and the ambience was great. So after a big meal we were suitably full and ready to head to the hotel. I was a bit sad that it was the end of the week to be honest, it had been an amazing time and the walk through the streets, sights and sounds seemed to be the fastest of the week.

The next morning we got up and packed and went to grab some breakfast at Dunkin’ Doughnuts. An old guy was there who I am convinced used to be a Mafia don. He had been there the other time that we were in there, I took his photo, you just don’t get characters like that anymore. After a cuppa we headed back to the hotel to order the taxi to take us to the airport. Sort of expectedly the taxi that turned up did not have access for my chair. We called again and they said they were going to send one, and the doorman was standing in the street flagging down everything that looked like it may be suitable. He was so helpful, he got a big tip at the end! I was getting concerned that we were going to be cutting it far too fine for my liking, we needed to be at the airport and not miss the plane! Much like a lot of things in my life though, it turned out ok in the end, and we got there and checked in with plenty of time to spare. There was nothing of any particular interest about the flight back, apart from the guys taking me to my seat getting told off a lot by the steward for being incompetent and us getting upgraded to first class again and a free glass of champagne for out troubles!

When we arrived back in the UK we had to go through the finding my chair routine again and then reconnecting the batteries. All of which I got the feeling Amy hated me for! I am sure she didn’t, but I couldn’t blame her if she did, it had been a lot of hours since we last slept and she hates practical things...

We decided to get the train back, and it was on the last leg, from Euston that I got really concerned about Amy. She didn’t look well and as it turned out I killed her. She did amazingly well in New York, we worked it out and she walked nearly 60 miles in the week. I’ve said to her privately how impressed I was, but here it is again on the public record, “Thank you Amy, you were amazing!” I am glad to say that she has recovered now, and that I can stop feeling bad for nearly killing her off...

So there you have it, that has been the last fortnight, I have had the best time. The places were amazing and the people were awesome. I made a good friend too, and that is one of the important things in life, you can never have too many people around that care and you care about, that is something that is becoming more evident as I get older, I’m obviously growing up and getting all mature!

For now though its back to work, I have had an amazing time and feel a bit more content, except for the yearning to go away feeling gnawing away at me. I’ve met some great people that have filled a bit of an emotional void that was developing. The feeling of belonging in Glastonbury and New York has settled me for now. Perhaps the guy who helped us blow the bed up was right, maybe Glastonbury does change people. For now though I have to work and go back to sorting out the normality of life. Greg is leaving and I need to find someone new. I would imagine that will be blog worthy in a while, I’ll keep you informed. I might have another leaver too but we’ll see, again its just the course of my life, its a tad unpredictable, but whatever happens I shall let you all know, it will all turn out ok...

(one other thing, I may edit this as I remember more, its just over 7000 words written over two days, so I may well have missed some stuff, check back now and then!)

A small update that predicts the future...

Right, I don’t usually go for this super updating, little and often approach, but I thought that this was of notable interest. I want to just commit to ‘paper’ some experiences that I have had recently, as I think they are worth mentioning just as a benchmark and reference.

So firstly I have finally sorted out the holiday to New York! Thomas Cook managed to sort out the uber task of communicating between their own departments, managed to sort out a hotel that had access and managed to charge me an extra £135.32 in the process. As a matter of principle I am going to get that back at least, the shoddy approach to disability relations is laughable, not to mention the complete lack of accurate information on their own products. I think its also a bit shoddy to not have an accessible hotel in the same price range, and that purely for access issues I have had to ‘upgrade’ and therefore cost myself more! They shall be receiving a strongly worded letter and email in due course!

Secondly, after the Thomas Cook debacle was finally sorted I headed off to the Leamington Peace Festival. It was my first time at the festival, and I must say it was a lot better than I expected. There was a plethora of hat and tat stands, but it was really nice to see so many different types of people getting along.

Wandering round, I got chatting to a couple of the stall holders, who were telling me this and that. They said that they would be at Glastonbury, one even offered me a cup of tea, so I need to look out for a crystal and stones tent with red signage and claim my cuppa when I am there!

Lastly though, at the end of an very pleasant but uneventful afternoon, I was persuaded to go and have my tarot read. We had to wait for a bit as the lady was reading someone else. As we waited I was saying to Amy that I wouldn’t be giving anything away. I have read Derren Brown’s book, and have done a lot of wider reading about a technique called cold reading, so I was somewhat sceptical of what might happen next.

So there we were, sat around a small black table, me on one side, the tarot reader lady to my left and Amy to my right. After some small talk the tarot lady giving the cards a little shuffle she handed them to me, and told me that I needed to shuffle them. It was all about me handling and touching the cards and transferring my energy into them. I had to chuckle a little at this, after all they are mass produced cards that were slightly tatty, but it was open mind time, I went with it!

The physical process of having my tarot read was pretty simple, shuffle a bit, cut the deck into three, re-stack them, spread them and pick nine, and wait for her reading. I was quite impressed at the simplicity on my part anyway. So, the first batch are turned over, and it goes something like this... I end up with the Knight of Cups, which means that I am a nice sensitive caring guy. I also end up with a Chariot and a couple of others that mean I am going to travel the world. Added to that are a couple more that imply that I am have strength and clarity in my intelligence. So I sat there grinning and thinking this is pretty good. Part of me thought it might have been a bit of an ego boost to get me onside, but then the other part realised that I had dealt the cards. My scepticism was starting to take a battering.

Time for round two! The same process as before, shuffle, cut, re-stack, spread and pick. There we have it, nine new cards that will be telling of my fate and destiny. I had a lot of stabbing in the back in this one, and then a sword next to that, so I was not to fight back apparently. There was also the Queen of Cups which meant that I’d be meeting a girl who had her guard up. There was also the Devil! This was a card that made me laugh. Apparently the devil, “the sexy devil”, means that I can go out and party, flirt my little heart out and not feel guilty the morning after! Game on I thought! There was also a card that meant I’d be doing well in work and business. There was also a card to do with love, I am going to be in love it seems.

Round three, shuffle, cut, re-stack, spread and pick. I’m getting well into it now, can follow that process without being prompted! So there I go and draw my nine cards. My old friend The Devil is back. Same meaning which provokes a bit of a giggle from tarot lady. Another session of stabbing in the back, and the love card again. It was on the whole all very positive, there was some explanation of how it was going to be, but it was all very nice. Then there was a choice card to do with love. It could either mean I would have to choose between two lovers, or choose between a lover and a situation. The example given to me was loose the lover or move with them when they move away. When the time comes, and as the travel cards were so strong, I think I’ll keep the lover and move.

So as I summarised on Facebook earlier, I am going to travel a lot, be successful in business and lucky in love, but will get stabbed in the back. I suppose you have to take the rough with the smooth in life! It got to that time where I had to pay up, I asked the tarot lady how much I owed her. She said that it was free! She had enjoyed giving the reading so much and that I was so full of positivity and positive energy that she was going to waive the charge! The sign said £15 for 30 minutes too, what a lovely woman she is! After the reading she had a cigarette, and we stopped and chatted for a while. Then the two other women who had been working on her stall with her came over and joined us. They were all really lovely people, who were drinking gin and thoroughly enjoying their occupation. We sat with them chatting for over an hour, and even got another reading from a new set of cards! I got the flirty card again, this time it had a naked painted lady on it though! It was a shame it was so late in the day, we had to get the last train home. I would have been happy to stay and chat to them for hours otherwise, its amazing how easy it was to chat to a threesome of forty something women from Reading way...

So, what I actually wanted to note down was, that I should end up in love, rich and well travelled, if a little stabbed in the back. Keep an eye on this blog and I shall let you know if any of it comes true! I’m hoping for seventy five percent accuracy!!

One other thing, just a quick one, I want to say hi to my reader in South Portland, Maine, USA. As of Sunday 14th of June, you’ve read twice! Thank you, you kept your promise after our random chance online meeting. It was nice to talk to you, and I hope you have enjoyed reading a little about my vaguely interesting life!

Where did that six months go....

Its been six months since my last confessions, and for that I apologise. The last thing I said that I’d try and do was to be a bit more regular, however I haven’t, I am almost certain its down to a lack of time, and more importantly inspiration.

So what has happened to me then? Its a good question, its been an eventful time, there is loads to tell you and loads that I am still totally unsure of! It started pretty much immediately after the last post, it was New Years Eve and I was out for a party. Due to staffing and other issues, it was my first new years party in what felt like forever. Definitely one year, more than likely two, my memory isn’t that good! So there I was, ready for a big night out. I was smart, jumper, shirt, trousers and shoes, and with my trusty PA Greg at my side, ready for a night of quality music and drinking at the Custard Factory in Birmingham. We arrived fairly early and found our way in, on the way meeting Kev. The first memorable incident of the night was an observation I made. The Custard Factory is many little rooms and bars surrounding a central courtyard. On the night in question there had been a three sided tent built over the pond, it was the main dance tent and where the headliners for the night would be playing. It was however outside, and to allow access quickly and easily from all of the surrounding bars and things, every single door was open! This meant that it was very cold, and there was no real warmth anywhere to escape to. This led to one of the funniest sights I have seen for a while. Lots of attractive girls were arriving down the stairs that led into the courtyard, and were leaving their coats in the cloakroom. They were looking amazing in an array of small and lightweight clubbing dresses, you can imagine the site, more skin than material on show. They made it to the outside, saw the dance tent and looked excited, then realised they were soon going to die of hypothermia, it was about -3c at the time. They then turned around, headed back to the cloakroom and donned a variety of less than sexy coats. Spoiling, what I assume to be, many hours of preening and co-ordinating the perfect New Year’s outfit. Being the kind of guy that I am, I couldn’t help having a small chuckle to myself at the irony. I saw loads of good djs that night, but the one moment I remember above all was 2ManyDJs playing a remix they did of MGMT’s Kids. The tune played over the turn of 2009, there was hugging, kissing and dancing as the line from the song “enjoy yourself, take only what you need from it’, ingrained itself on my soul. As much of a cliché as it might sound, I was caught up in some euphoric moment of belonging to something bigger. As the crowd, and I sang along I knew that the message contained in that line was something to try and live by for the year, it also felt like the beginning of something special, 2009 was going to be great.

The beginning of the year was fairly uneventful, and not really worth blogging about, except for the arrival of four kittens, which all ended up re-homed. After the awesome experience of the Custard Factory evening I had a day or two to settle down again before ploughing headlong into a new year of work. January was just another month at Widgit and Hereward, the only addition to the working week being the new photography lessons for the Adult Education Services. I told you it wasn’t an exciting month.

February on the other hand had a small Widgit jolly that needed attending, which actually turned out to be very enjoyable indeed. The first part of it involved a 5 hour journey down to the Eden Project. I won’t bore you with the technicalities of the visit, as it was a business trip. However I would like to tell you about a strange psychological phenomenon I found myself experiencing. It was highly strange to be somewhere that I considered to be a ‘holiday’ destination without actually being on holiday. The last time that I was at the Eden Project was with my family, strangely enough on holiday! Yet here I was with my PA and boss, and we were at Eden. It was almost as if it was somehow a dream, I kept expecting to see my family somewhere, and it was especially odd playing on the magnet fridge doors, as last time I had been there it was with my little brother. Its strange how memory and emotions are connected, and then come back to bug you when you revisit certain locations.

The second day of the trip was far more fun however. We visited a play park that had been especially designed to include children that used wheelchairs. My job at the event was to take photographs of the signs and symbols that our company had designed for the project. I also thought it might be a good idea to get some shots of the proceedings and opening of the park. I saw an ideal vantage point at the top of the wheelchair accessible climbing frame. So off I went, up a wooden ramp to the top, and then needed to turn round to get the shot of the mayor cutting the ribbon. I decided to turn around, I got most of the way round then had an awful feeling of despair and then panic! I was stuck, right there on top of an accessible climbing frame, that was about to be opened, and which about 100 people were going to turn around and admire. I could literally feel my pulse getting faster as the mayor neared the end of his speech, however much to my relief my boss came over and released me from the coconut mat’s grasp! I managed to get to the bottom of the ramp just as the first wave of children came charging up. After a few more snaps it was time for tea and cake in a local pub, then the long drive home. We arrived home safe and sound, it was a long but uneventful journey. So that was February, it wasn’t the most exciting of times, except for one other thing....

Do you remember in the last post I mentioned that one of my PAs was not performing quite as expected, and I told you to watch this space? Well unfortunately it came to a head in February. I was mid decorating and needed some things from Birmingham, she had told me that she needed to do a lot of studying, so I said to her if she wanted to stay home it would be ok, I wouldn’t be long. She said that she’d like to come, as she wanted a break and to look round the shops. That was fine, I thought it might be good to have an outing with her, we hadn’t been getting along that well and I thought the neutral territory might be good for us to chat and have a nice afternoon together. Off we went to the Bullring and I went to the three or four shops that I needed to go to. As we were walking round I mentioned to her that when we got back I needed to get her to move a small stereo to the bedroom now that the desk had been built to put it on. Its a tiny stereo, a main body piece and two speakers. It takes about 5 minutes to move, as it is one mains plug and two speaker cables, it really is not a big job, but anyway, I told her it needed moving and she said that it was fine and that we could do it when we got back. So after I had been to the shops that I needed to go to, it was my turn to follow her around the clothes shops, shoe shops and makeup shops. It was nothing out of the ordinary to be waiting for a girl PA outside of one of the aforementioned shops, I had worked with Rach for four years after all! So there we were about 5 hours later and on our way home, both of us had survived the afternoon in each other’s company and nothing particularly untoward had happened. I naively thought that it might be the start of a new calmer more peaceful chapter between us, oh how I was mistaken...

We arrived home and decided to have a cuppa, and I said that we still needed to move the stereo at some point, as we were both out the next day and I needed to get it done before the next part of the decorating could be done. Now from the tirade that followed you may have thought that I had asked her to do a far more mammoth task. It started with me being yelled at for not appreciating that she had ‘supported me shopping all afternoon’ and that she was tired and I should understand what it is like to be a girl. This irritated me a tiny bit, as I had not needed her to come with me, and for the entire afternoon she had not actually ‘supported’ me in any way. I am capable of choosing and paying for things in the Apple shop! I had waited for her for a lot of the afternoon in various shops, then had her shopping hung on the back of my chair. So in reality and if I was to be pedantic I would say that it was far more of a case for me to claim that I was supporting her. However after she had let off some steam and cooled down a little bit we started to move the stereo. The shelf that it sits on is one of those clever little floating shelves. They work by mounting two horizontal poles on the wall, then sliding the shelf onto them. The shelf had been there for a while, with the wires for the stereo pushed down behind it, so we needed to pull it forward on the posts to get the mains plug out. Obviously as it had been there for a while and things had settled it was a bit stiff on the posts. After giving it a half hearted tug, I was informed that the shelf wouldn’t move, and that it was impossible to complete the task. It was told to me in a sort of triumphant way, between the lines was the hidden message of “ha, I can’t be arsed”. I, being the kind of guy that I am when irritated and because of the need to actually get the job done so the next ones could be completed, I said that if she put a screwdriver down between the shelf and the wall that it could be levered off slightly, just to loosen it up. This suggestion was met with more argumentation, huffing and puffing. However the anger from a bit of bickering spurred her on to take her aggression out on the shelf, which made it move! There was a kind of sense of personal victory as it moved, because she had insisted that it wouldn’t. Maybe looking back on it I was wrong to say “there you go, its moving now”, as that comment started the sequence of events that led to a very unfortunate end. I can’t remember exactly what was said, it came in a very angry, fast burst of broken English. What I can remember was that it was shouted at me from a very close face to face PA, who had mascara running, tears flowing and a red face of anger. There was also the 8 inch screwdriver used for prying the shelf still in her right hand, and this hand was becoming more animated by the second. I did for a moment or two have a concern that I might be leaving this exchange with the screwdriver sticking out of a bit of me. After a good few minutes of absorbing ranting, which seemed much longer, I decided that it needed to end and both of us needed to calm down. However logical rational calm from my side of the debate was not working. I only had one option left. Now bearing in mind that I am a placid calm person, who very rarely shouts or gets angry the option left to me could have gone scarily wrong, I needed to shout. I’ve not shouted in a very long time, it isn’t me, I don’t really like confrontation and aggression, but there I was and now was the time for a shout. It came very naturally after she had called me pathetic, I hadn’t planned or expected it at this point, but from my mouth boomed “DON”T CALL ME PATHETIC”. I am sure if you were a third party watching the unfolding proceedings this would have been a hilarious moment. Her face was a picture and it cut her ranting off instantly. I imagine that my face also must have been a comedic sight as I was very surprised at the power and volume behind my words. I had not expected it to be that loud! It served a purpose though and diffused the situation immediately. She decided that she was going to go to her room and calm down, and I stayed in mine and did the same. I remember waiting for the heartbeat in my throat to travel back down to my chest before I did anything else. After about half an hour or so, we both got back together and decided to discuss things on a more calm and passive level. It transpired that she did not like me, did not think that I was a nice person and would never call me a friend. She also told me that she hated jobs where she had to deal with people and that this was not a good job for her and that she was not enjoying it. It made me wonder why she had applied to work for me, as it was a job that solely involved working with people. Perhaps it was the only job that was available at the time, who knows. We mutually decided that it was not appropriate for her to continue in my employment and that I’d give her a month to look for another job. By rights, ranting and waving a screwdriver at me is grounds for instant dismissal, but I am not that harsh, I knew that it would take her a while to herself and more employment out. A few days after that I was relaying the story back to Rach. She was outraged and said that she would come back to work for me until I found someone more appropriate. That was the best news that I had heard in a long time. She came back and did eight weeks in total, she only dropped one bombshell, she is pregnant and as such can’t come to Glastonbury. This was minor on the grand scale of things though, I was just please to have a reliable person back, and it was also nice to spend some time with a friend again. The eight weeks passed far too quickly and without notable event. We did a lot of window shopping for baby things, and I learned all about her trials and tribulations with her current employer. It wasn’t going well with her employer and she was strongly considering coming back to me whilst she sued her employer. However the technicalities of following that course of action meant that it was impossible. This was a bit sad as it would have been great to have Rach back for longer. Sometimes in life though things like that just aren’t meant to be, or they happen for a reason. When it was approaching the last few weeks of Rach working for me I started to seriously look for the next person to work for me. I had the usual raft of inappropriate, useless and pathetic applications that I have mentioned in previous posts. The best one I got this time in terms of a talking point was an ex Romanian Secret Services soldier, who wanted a change of career. He had a lot of very interesting training, counter terrorism, explosives, all sorts of interrogation methods and the like. He was a full on Romanian SAS equivalent, I am sure that he is a lovely guy and that he would have been perfectly capable of doing the job. I was just more concerned that he might have some hidden flashbacks or something equally disturbing that I might have to deal with later on. I decided to discount him as all I wanted was an easy life. That left me with two applicants in the running, a girl called Amy and one called Emma. I started chatting to them both on MSN, last thing I said to Emma was can you come to an interview on Saturday, to which she replied that it was the day after she had buried her baby, and that she thought she might be a mess, and she’d be in touch. She hasn’t been back since, but that is a good thing, as at the same time I was chatting to Amy, who made me laugh so much I knew she was at least getting an interview. To give you an idea of the sort of girl she is, I asked her, “Do you have an pet hates”? A perfectly valid question considering we would be living together for a portion of the weekend. The response I got literally did make me laugh out loud, she said “yeah, I am not a fan of big dogs”. Priceless. She was definitely getting an interview and we met the next Saturday for a coffee at the Bullring. It was like a typical interview, she was a little nervous and I was using all of my people reading skills to hopefully make the right judgement as to whether to employ her or not. There was something about her that felt right, the actual talking was all the standard interview and getting to know each other fodder, it was the vibe that she gave off that clinched it for her. I left knowing that I had potentially employed another great PA. To be honest I had pretty much decided to employ her based on our conversations on MSN, but I wanted to check that we could get on, and when I met her the deal was sealed.

Amy has been with me for just over a month now, and its been great. She is the sort of person that you can get on with no matter what sort of mood you are in. I know that she is going to get me in trouble at some point, her sense of adventure is amazing! We are off to New York at the end of the month, which I know is not the most scary destination, but its a good start to our globe trotting. As a person I like to be fairly spontaneous, obviously as a disabled person there is a certain amount of extra planning that is needed, but I still like to do things on the spur of the moment. That is Amy’s ethic completely and its so nice to have a companion who will just dive in and go with it. I have no idea how everything we do will turn out, but as long as its fun and no one gets hurt, does it matter? There are too many disabled people being held back by the ‘what ifs’, just get yourself an Amy, get out there and do it! I have a feeling, again a bit of a cliché, but I think I am going to learn a lot about myself with her too, I can feel myself returning to who I think I actually am. Its not the case that I need to be on my guard and defensive most of the time now, and because of that the real me is starting to make a reappearance. I don’t dread the weekends anymore, and am not relieved that Monday has arrived! Its all very pleasing. I also know that I am going to have to raise my game a lot to keep up with her! She is very competitive, bright and witty. Its competition that I am not used to, although I thrive when challenged, so she better watch out. She doesn’t like it when I win either, deciding it was time to turn the Playstation off when I was making a comeback... Aside from the competition which I am loving, there is a real sense of partnership again, its nice, I’ve not had that for a while, and in fact there have only been a couple of PAs with whom I have shared the same sense of closeness and friendship. It may be perceptual rather than anything deep and meaningful as it has only been five weeks, but whatever it is long may it continue. I’ve also discovered she is an amazing cook, the meals she makes are ace, I am either going to be very healthy or put on loads of weight, either way its a winner! There is also the matter of travel, she wants to plan something but won’t tell me what it is, might give me something to write about though. The next adventure is New York, its been a bit of a quiz so far, with the accessible hotel having six steps up to the front door, and by their own admittance ‘no access for the handicapped’, so when that is all sorted and over I’ll fill you in. Its going to be a very hardcore fortnight I feel. Mainly due to the fact that I am flying out to New York the day after I drive back from Glastonbury! Why do things by half measures eh??

So apart from the new PA trials and tribulations and the upcoming trip to Glastonbury and New York, not a lot has happened in the in the last six months. That seems to be the trouble with being a grown up, I am now part of the rat race. I go to work, I come home and sleep then do this and that at the weekends. Its time for more adventures, and now that I have the means and the finances, I am sure the future will hold some blogworthy stories! So until next time, keep an eye out for a mong stuck in the mud at Glastonbury, then for one blocking something in New York, it’ll more than likely be me!!