The Comedy Of Growing Up...

Right, I think its about time I addressed the issue of growing up. Its a rather funny state of affairs, and it seems to happen completely differently to all of us, which I know is stating the obvious but bare with me...

I've reached a time in life, as a twenty four year old where things are starting to get interesting in terms of catching up with old friends. We've all had a few years now, most of us out of education, to sort out lives out a bit and start to have careers. 

As I think I have already told you, I grew up into a college lecturer firstly, then a facilitator, then a technician, and finally a researcher, ending up with just the three jobs, Lecturer, Technician and Researcher. Now I hadn't planned this at all, I got a call, and being disabled and out of education had nothing better to do at the time, so it developed from there. Not particularly interesting I grant you, but its the truth, not all life is rock and roll....

However, today I bumped into an old friend on the train. I've not seen him since we were both about twelve. He too has a disability but that's not particularly important to this story, except for the fact that it leads us to the third character in this tale, also with a disability, who is the most interesting!

The guy on the train, Hayden, has grown up to be in a band, they are pretty good, not seen them live but heard them online and I was suitably impressed. Anyway, on the train he didn't recognise me, not to worry I introduced myself and it all came flooding back to him, poor chap. It was after the pleasantries that we got on to reminiscing about Lee. I've not seen him since school, but Hayden has as he lives in the same street. Turns out Lee has become the UK's only disabled wrestler!! How utterly bonkers is that?!

I am all for pushing the career path, and stuff like that, but it lead me to think, hmmm, funny how we all grow up. People you were good friends at school with now have entirely different lives, and move in social circles you probably would never fit into these days. For example, the three of us lads had two friends that spring instantly to mind, Gemma and Alice. Gemma has grown up to be a doctor, and Alice is another musician. Now I can't imagine that Gemma and her lifestyle would fit in anymore with a bunch of musicians and a wrestler and me, strange what time does to people...

(Now I will admit mid post here, that I am not entirely sure where this rambling mess is going, so I'll forgive you if you turn back now! If you stay however it might get interesting, no promises though...)

I know people change, we have to, its part of maturing, but is change always for the better. Is the change actually us wanting to change, or is it us changing due to the environment we find ourselves in, changing around us and we find ourselves needing to fit into it?

A good casing point would be my job at the moment, I have been teaching and stuff since I was twenty. With a teacher job, comes a certain amount of responsibility and the need to be sensible. Now I am no way saying that I am a perfect teacher, this is just what I have noticed. 

I started pretty young, and at twenty I was responsible for teaching GCSE media to students. This meant that I had to keep a boundary between me and the students, which meant that in reality my new friends were the other lecturers at the college.  All of which were much older than me and had been teaching for ages. Ninety percent of them had sensible grown up lives, with families and all the trimmings. This meant that I was in an environment where I had to grow up fast, and do a good job. I'm not complaining, it was a good experience, it made me the person I am today. It just makes me think, you can't un-mature, so what happens if you want to go back and do some of the things that you'd used to have done. It just won't be the same. People move on, names and faces change, and no matter how good it is in the present, it seems that a few years down the line, you always seem to be looking back with fondness. I'm sure all of you reading this have memories of a friend or colleague you got on really well with, and now and then you wonder what they are up to? You perhaps don't have a number or address for them, but sometime you think of the good old days, and would like to get in touch.

No..... Just me then.....

(Ah ha, its evolved inside my tiny brain, I know where I am going with it, hang on...)

I think that this feeling of missing people, or remembering the good times or bad times or whatever is surely a good thing. It means you feel happiness or loss, it means you have emotional ties to people. That sense of "ah nice one I just found so and so on facebook, not heard from them in years..." is a good feeling. You are remaking the emotional connection. 

These days though, and I am thinking particularly of my 14yr old brother's generation and subsequent generations, people aren't going to have this emotional connection to others are they. With social networking so prevalent and mobile phones owned by more or less everyone, its not like we will ever loose touch. So if we never loose touch, and know that on the end of a text, call or email, everyone you've ever liked will be there, are we going to take friendships for granted? Will we loose the ability to cherish the memories of the fun times together, because its instantly documented in pictures and video on a social networking site. Will we grow up through the technological interfaces rather than in face to face situations with real life friends? Will my brother actually ever loose touch with people, like us older generations have? What happens if you never loose touch, I have no idea....

You see the thing I have noticed over the last few years is that as people move on, it is then that you can really see who are your true friends. Fair enough you have 200+ friends on facebook, but are they real friends? Do you know how many of those you could not see for years, but it be like you'd never left off next time you see them? I'd hazard a guess at not many... I've learnt that a lot of the time friends are very present tense, I've got loads of friends at the minute I think the world of, and we have a lot of fun together. However if that frequency of seeing them diminishes it all starts to unravel... Its after the gaps that you know who your true friends are, and with social networking I think that its going to get harder for people to distinguish... 

Right that's all I have to say for now on the subject, I need to think more about it and get back to you, which I will on due time, with a different colour font for the new bits! Reply to this one if you will and let me know what you think, I'd be intrigued to know.